deal with psychological scars It is not something anyone should take lightly. You should always try to do your best to help the injured people struggling to get back on the right path. But that doesn’t mean you should accept all of their toxic behavior. No matter how much you care about someone, you should never let a narcissist or other toxic person get to you.
Usually the people who have psychological scars they don’t grow up being the nicest. That doesn’t mean they are inherently evil. Deep down, they might even be the nicest people in the world. But their past isn’t the brightest, and that probably means they’re not the warmest people you’ll meet. It’s not exactly their fault if they grow up to be introverted and cold.
Still, being hurt should never be seen as a reason to let them off the hook. Many people with scars are narcissistic and selfish. Many of them do not know how to have healthy interpersonal relationships. And, if you look closely enough, you’ll see that many red flags can show you who they really are. If you pay attention to the subtle things, you will see that his scars are deeper than they seem.
What are psychological scars
Everyone has some kind of psychological scars or at least bruises. Some have healed. Others have not. But those people must deal with their problems and their past. On the other hand, some people struggle to heal and sometimes never do. Of course, no one can blame people for not being able to heal from trauma. The problem is when people use that trauma to legitimize their inappropriate behaviors.
Still, psychological scars are very real and can affect a person’s entire life and well-being. After going to a frightening or distressing event, some people may find it difficult to cope with everyday life. These scars are the result of traumatic events. Trauma can take many forms. However, it is often traced back to events that happened in a person’s childhood.
Trauma that leaves scars is very often traced back to childhood
When things happen to people during their first years of life, the effects tend to stick around forever. This is because children’s brains are developing and still being shaped, so everything that affects them will remain. That doesn’t mean adults can’t be affected by traumatic events. Still, for most people, the psychological scars come from a younger age.
It is important to understand that a traumatic event is not someone being scared because they saw a bug in their room. Not all events that frighten people are bad enough to qualify as traumatic, nor do they leave scars. Traumatic events often stem from abuse, whether physical, emotional, or psychological. Or they can be life-threatening situations, accidents like car crashes, natural disasters, or acts of violence like armed robbery.
A parental divorce can leave a scar forever
Sometimes even witnessing violence is enough to leave a mark forever. If you were raised in a home where parents always hit each other, you probably have some problems. Sometimes people struggle with the effects of events that other people miss. For example, being traumatized by your parents’ divorce is not something that people think can happen. Most people would just think that the child will be sad for a while and then heal.
For example, a parental divorce can leave a mark forever. Some other overlooked causes of trauma are the death of a loved one, injury, or the diagnosis of a serious medical condition. These events can even affect entire families, but some do not address or resolve these traumatic childhood events. People have started to take psychology seriously in the last two decades, but the field still doesn’t get the respect it deserves. Many older people still have a skewed view of therapy because of the way they were raised.
Solving psychological scars with therapy is still a myth
In the past, society stigmatized people who sought therapy. Unfortunately, some people still perpetuate that myth, making people feel ashamed of their need for help. Because of this, many people never resolve their trauma. They just bury it deep and try to live with your psychological scars. But that never allows them to heal and be the best version of themselves.
Therefore, many people break under the weight of these problems and allow traumatic events to change them for the worse. They end up developing selfish and bad behaviors and most likely hurt many of their friends. No matter how much you want to help someone like that, it’s not always in your best interest to stay by their side.
3 warning signs of someone with psychological scars
Watch for these typical behaviors of someone struggling with trauma.
They display the traits of a narcissist
Anyone who has had to deal with a person with psychological scars will tell you from experience that these people display narcissistic tendencies. Once someone goes through a traumatic event, her brain will automatically adopt more selfish behaviors in an attempt to protect them. When people are hurt, their brains need to find ways to work through the pain and put their lives back together. This overly protective behavior can quickly get out of control.
The need to feel isolated and safe makes people start to lose touch with reality and society. A narcissist may slowly begin to lose the ability to empathize and communicate properly. Mind you, all of these behaviors can be indicative that you’re dealing with someone with narcissistic personality disorder, which is something else entirely. That is a medical disorder, whereas these narcissistic behaviors are a direct effect of past trauma.
People with psychological scars vs. narcissists
These two things are not the same and people often confuse them. The main difference is that the people with psychological scars do not usually act with bad intentions. Still, that doesn’t mean their behavior is something you should put up with. A narcissist can affect you because these people will not think about how their actions hurt you. If they want to get something, they will take it without a second thought.
If they want to fight you, they will do it without any remorse. These tendencies often come as a way to counteract the sense of helplessness felt by people with scars. There is no way to help these people if they don’t want to help themselves. They will take all your advice as an insult and will strike back if they feel threatened.
Therefore, it would be advisable not to make sacrifices for them, since you will not be able to help them. Any kind of selfish behavior, like lashing out or throwing tantrums for seemingly no reason, is a red flag. Don’t use their trauma as an excuse for their behavior. While childhood and past traumas cause narcissism, they are not an excuse. And you should never hurt yourself to help someone heal their psychological scars.
They don’t trust people
This probably doesn’t come as a surprise, but people who experience injury and trauma don’t find it easy to trust. If you have been abused, what evidence do you have that there are people who care about you? You have lived your entire life being cheated on and hurt emotionally or physically. At some point, you will begin to believe that all people would be willing to treat you this way.
While not trusting others doesn’t make someone a narcissist, it’s not exactly a great trait. And this is a sign that you are dealing with someone who is struggling with serious issues. It is your choice if you want to heal them. But know that it can be toxic to interact with someone who doesn’t trust you. When someone has trouble trusting people, it will affect every interpersonal relationship they will have.
They don’t usually ask for help.
They won’t tell people when something is bothering them. They will not ask for help or talk about their personal lives. And, most importantly, they will always expect the worst. They will probably believe that everyone will lie or betray them. These people are not going to bring something new into your life.
If you get emotionally involved with a narcissist or an emotionally insecure person, they will often hurt you. The more you want to help them, the more you’ll feel like you’re hitting a brick wall. If you want to help these people heal, you will need to be as detached as possible. You will need to advise them to seek professional help without allowing emotions to cloud their judgment.
They struggle with substance abuse
Probably the biggest red flag that tells you someone can’t handle a psychological trauma is that he is struggling with substance abuse. That doesn’t mean you’ll see them walking around with a bottle, but there are always signs of this type of behavior. Of course, substance abuse doesn’t automatically mean someone is dealing with dark things.
Some people become addicted because they like the thrill of using. Others become addicted due to their socioeconomic background. Still, substance abuse and trauma are very closely connected. For example, about 60% of American youth with PTSD develop a substance abuse problem. And there are many more statistics that point to a strong connection between trauma and addiction.
Show dramatic personality changes
If a person always seems tired or avoids people at all costs, that may indicate an addiction problem. Even if they never come to work drunk and even if they seem functional, that doesn’t mean they are. Addicts are often angry, irritable, and depressed. They show dramatic personality changes. Even if you don’t notice those signs, the physical changes will be clear enough.
Bloodshot eyes, dramatic weight loss, and a generally unkempt appearance are among the most common signs. Again, trying to be friends with that person will only hurt you. It doesn’t mean you can’t try to help them. You just shouldn’t try to be friends with them until they get their life back.