No couple is free of conflict. Only some conflicts can be resolved constructively, while others threaten to destroy relationships. How to understand what are the perspectives of your marriage and be able to anticipate its possible future failure?
Warning Signs of a Possible Marital Failure
The relationship expert john gottman, argues that it is possible to predict fairly accurately whether a marriage will last by observing some key behaviors of its members. He calls these signs the “four horsemen of the apocalypse”: criticism, neglect, defensiveness, and a refusal to communicate.
1. They avoid each other
It doesn’t matter how: either you just try not to be alone with your partner (until you check your work schedule), or you “remember” an important meeting where your partner wants to talk.
You both can sincerely see this as a way to “keep the peace” or “cool down a bit,” but if the relationship is really important to you, you should ditch those tactics.
2. All your conversations and other interactions end in a fight.
If in the relationship every situation where there is interaction: when they watch something together on television, when they talk about the weather, or resolve future meetings and projects, but always, on every occasion, the discussion and fight ends up being the premeditated end of each interaction, it is evident that there is a serious underlying problem that they must focus on, together.
Especially when there are children involved, since those who bear the brunt are the indirect victims of their parents’ constant argument and disagreements.
3. You stopped discussing important decisions and other turns of life
If you already consider yourself a single person and tell the news from your life to the neighbors, and not to your wife or husband, this is not a sign of independent thinking, but a reason to contact a family counselor.
4. Your behavior (or your partner’s behavior) changes
When we can’t talk directly about what’s bothering us, anxiety manifests itself in nonverbal behavior. Are you more likely to get distracted and ignore your partner, or do you suddenly throw yourself into a hobby, or perhaps both of you avoid physical contact?
Remember that whenever you detect any sign that your relationship is not moving forward, you should talk to your partner. Sometimes there are external factors that need to be discussed and resolved..
For example, difficulties at work, financial or personal problems can destroy the stability of a relationship. But with trust, love and communication you can overcome all this.