4 signs you were raised by toxic parents

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4 signs you were raised by toxic parents

As we grow up, whatever the behavior of our parents, it is, up to a certain age, the only example we have. So, it is very difficult for a child to be aware that he is growing up in a toxic family, whose behavior can negatively and decisively stigmatize their adult life. This he unfortunately learns much later, when he is asked to confront his past in order to heal his present.

Of course, as adults, we can more or less judge whether we have grown as we should. We know, then, that the culprits of our current suffering could be our parents.

Signs that you were raised by toxic parents

The upbringing of toxic parents, parents who have not known how to follow the path of education and healthy upbringing, may have left repercussions on the lives of their children, such as some of those mentioned below.

1. You never received love and security

There are parents who put more emphasis on discipline and compliance with the rules within and outside the family, who forget that it is difficult for a child to be constantly alert and live in fear of “breaking the law” and having to apologize . Good education and full knowledge of the rules that govern our lives is not something that should be neglected.

However, it is more important for a child to feel that in the family home he can always find comfort, understanding and forgiveness. And of course, a patient orientation so that he does not repeat his mistakes.

Otherwise, he will become a willless adult, ready to collapse at the slightest slip or misfortune.

2. You feel that they were never satisfied with you

It is natural for parents to have an opinion about their children’s choices, opinions or actions and to express it strongly because they care and want what is best for them. However, there are parents who either never approve of anything that did not come from their own initiative or impulse, or are never satisfied with their children’s efforts, whatever the result.

Growing up in such conditions, a child never knows the joy of being accepted by parents and does not associate work and effort with individual improvement and achievement of goals.

Thus, he himself becomes a ruthless judge of himself, who is not satisfied with anything and in the end stops trying everything.

3. They always wanted to have the last word

Up to a certain age, it is normal for parents to make most decisions for the child. Gradually, however, they should give you space to make your own decisions, learn from your mistakes, and gain experiences that can be useful to you later.

Unfortunately, some parents do not allow their children to take any initiative and demand that they follow their own wishes until they reach adulthood, and beyond. They are absolute and oppressive, they underestimate the potential of their children and do not have the patience to listen and understand them.

And then they wonder why the kids are turning away from them or how they can possibly make one unwise decision after another.

4. They emotionally blackmailed you

Some parents, either because they do not have a healthy relationship with each other or because they have deeper problems that remain unresolved, look to the child for permanent support, without conditions and limits. They thus end up building a dependency relationship that weighs heavily on the child.

They become manipulative, putting the child in the role of parent and burdening them with responsibility for their own mistakes and choices, even after they become adults and leave home. They emotionally blackmail the child by making him feel guilty and take advantage of the fact that he is not financially independent for his benefit.

Therefore, in adulthood, the child is completely incapable of trusting people and has difficulty establishing meaningful and rewarding relationships outside the family.

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533 points