The vast majority of adults today do not really know how to love their neighbor. In many cases, this is due to poor acceptance of love in childhood. When they were not loved, or even if the love they received was not true, but a poisonous love from other people (usually parents) who did not know how to love well either.
These scars from yesterday continue to hurt immensely and often shape our relationships in the present in many ways. Insecurity, emotional dependence, low self-esteem, abusive relationships.
If we ask ourselves how a difficult childhood affects adult relationships, it should be noted that there is no answer. The wounds left by a childhood of abuse, lack of love and emotional abandonment are complex, deep and very specific to each mind and individual.
The kind of love, attention, and care we have received as children shape the kind of relationships we will have as adults.
The love we receive in childhood is the love we know how to handle in our adulthood
The love we receive from our family, from our first true love, who are our parents, shapes our concept of love, of the value we have for each other, of how important we are as individuals.
The kind of love we have received in our childhood is crucial to shape our future relationships, not only couples, since love is present in everything that surrounds us, in how we will be in the face of adversity and how we will also educate ourselves. to our kids.
When you feel like your parents cared about you
When you feel that your parents care about you, it is engraved inside you, and that guides you in terms of understanding love and how to express it.
This script that was engraved in you, guides you when you have a relationship in your adult life. The more expressive and attentive your parents were during childhood, the more open you will be in a future relationship as an adult.
Expressive, loving, and caring parents tend to raise healthy children who are comfortable and express emotions. This is called secure attachment.
If you did not receive attention, you will look for it in your future relationship
Parents who don’t show attention or emotionally dramatic parents who raise their voices raise a child who will try to express himself in the same way.
The child does whatever it takes to get someone’s attention, this is called an insecure-ambiguous attachment style.
As an adult, if you often find yourself in a situation where you struggle for attention in your relationship, there’s a good chance you constantly craved the attention of one or both parents as a child.
A healthy relationship with parents increases the likelihood of having healthy love relationships
An understanding parent who can listen and give good advice can really help smooth out any rough edges in a relationship.
Although a person’s relationship with their parents may evolve over time and become less of a factor, as a child becomes independent, having a healthy relationship with one or both parents is highly beneficial to a relationship at an older age. adult.
The relationship dynamics that children absorb in their homes become part of how they understand the inner workings of relationships and thus follow their parents’ lead.
We are the sum of our life experiences and if our life contains trauma, there will be residue.
Having challenges and setbacks in life does not mean that one is a failure, nor does it mean that one is doomed. Yes, life experiences influence a person’s choices, beliefs, and values, but past traumatic experiences do not determine the future.