Sometimes you have to give in to desire and spend the whole day in bed with a clear conscience, taking time for yourself, which is considered “healthy selfishness”.
With today’s fast-paced life, people hardly have time to find time for work, family, and friends. What can we say about resting alone with yourself?
Many do not even think about the fact that sometimes it is necessary to dedicate time and attention to oneself, that little healthy selfishness that can come in handy.
Why this is important and how to stop beating yourself up for being unproductive, we’ll try to figure out below.
Why is it important to take time for yourself?
First, it is a self esteem issue. Many simply do not have: a sense of the value of their body, its security, needs, desires. People often don’t know what they want or limit themselves.
It often happens that in fact a person does not seem to deny himself anything: he has money, opportunities, but at the same time inside he is empty, he scolds and restrains himself. He doesn’t make him feel better. It is important to learn to stay, to take care of yourself, to pay attention to our feelings, our physical and mental condition.
This approach develops emotional intelligence, which helps to communicate with people. This protects a person from emotional exhaustion at work or any other activity, helps to regulate their resources and deficits and not get into situations that put them on the edge of nerves or depression.
How can you start taking care of yourself?
If initially it is difficult for a person to devote at least some time to himself, then small rituals, for example, playing sports, help. When someone decides to exercise regularly, he says, “Yes, I definitely spend an hour a day, two hours a week, or an hour a week for sports.” The most important thing is to start with the pleasant.
If you have never paid attention to yourself, if your whole life has been just a change in the type of activity and you have not thought at all about what you want, it is very important to find something that you find enjoyable to do.
There are many different lists on the internet about what to do alone with yourself, how to take care of your intimate loved one. But people suggest them based on their preferences and they are different for everyone. Then, after reading the article, someone tries to apply the advice to her own situation, nothing happens and the person gets mad at herself, she thinks she’s somehow wrong. For example, everyone likes bubble baths, but others don’t. But it’s normal, you should do what you please, not someone else.
It is important to learn to notice in general what you want and what you like
For one person, personal time is five minutes a day, for another – already 15 minutes, for others – an hour, and some can afford a whole weekend. The main thing is to realize the value of rest and time for oneself. It doesn’t matter if you want to lie in the bathtub with your favorite book, exercise or stay in bed all day.
How to stop reproaching yourself for being “idle”?
Perfectionists and workaholics are especially prone to these self-sabotaging and self-blaming thoughts when it comes to enjoying their free time. For them, this is even more stress and tension.
So, it is important to find a balance. If you want to make the most of your time, you need to realize that relaxation benefits your mental health. Whether it’s with karaoke, walking in the park or riding a bike.
In addition, guilt feelings can be a reason for self-reproach for “do nothing”. Modern society is strongly oriented towards success and achievement. And when you decide to take a break and be unproductive for a while, the self-monitoring system is activated.
And if a person’s values are formed in such a way that he considers himself loved and significant only when he works, then he cannot be taken and deprived of this. It is important to gradually add other attitudesto broaden the perception of oneself: “What if I can rest too?”.
You should not value yourself negatively
It is also important remove a kind of negative feedback. People evaluate the activity: this activity is good, but this is bad. Therefore, when a person decides to move away from this assessment, a feeling of guilt arises: “How can I be good if I’m lazy?”.
It is also worth stopping evaluating yourself
Then you can stop dividing your life and behavior into black and white, bad and good, and start looking at the world more broadly, filling it with different feelings: joy, pleasure, rest, work and enjoyment of the result.
Healthy selfishness is nothing more than learning to think about ourselves, starting to take the right time to feel alive and be more in touch with ourselves.