Teens may lie to their parents to protect their privacy and freedom, to hide mistakes and rule-breaking, or even to protect others.
As a parent, your child’s safety is probably your number one concern. You want to know the truth to be able to solve these behavioral problems, whether it is due to drug addiction, sex, risky activities or even crime in the worst case.
How can you tell if your teen is lying to you?
The bad news is that a study published in 2011 shows that most of us have only a fifty percent chance (at best) of detecting when someone is lying, let alone when a minor has time to prepare their lie. But if you pay attention to your child’s behavior when he lies in situations you suspect, you may be able to improve those chances.
lying is something we all do
Although you have taught him to always tell the truth, lying is part of normal human behavior. Stop being surprised that your teenagers lie to you and accept that something will happen. Use what you remember about your behavior when you were a teenager and wanted to lie in a situation.
Discovering that your son is lying to you should not be something that makes you disappointed in him, rest assured that all young people lie at some point in their lives. He tries to understand what led him to lie and help him in any way you can.
Signs that your teenager is lying to you
One tactic used by police forces is to prevent the suspect from having time to think when answering their questions. This leads to him demonstrating more pronounced behavior when lying. Or even that contradicts his own story or lie.
Lying increases a person’s cognitive load. This can cause the person to think more than if they were giving a true statement. That is, thinking too much to explain the story of what has already been lived.
The signs of lying are different for each person. You must use your experience with your child to guide him. Pay attention and see how your teenager behaves when he tells the truth and when he lies.
1. Constant breaks
Listen for the pauses before your teen begins to answer a question, and note the long pauses they may take during their responses. Unnatural pauses are signs that you need to think more to come up with an answer.
2. Eye contact
This can change. Looking away, looking down, or looking at several different points all the time can be a sign of a lie. However, some teens are good at maintaining eye contact while lying. There may also be a change in the way you blink. Look for a different type of eye contact when lying compared to a normal conversation.
3. Shortness of breath and dry mouth
Changes in breathing and lack of saliva: a sign of stress when making up a lie. There may also be a change in your voice, which may become higher-pitched.
4. Silences and stillness
While the brain is busy making up lies, the body often becomes calmer. You may notice that you are calmer or less active than usual.
5. They sign a lot and move their feet
Some people will use more expressive hand gestures when lying. Although the body is usually more relaxed than normal, they may drag their legs or move their eyes constantly (which would not happen in normal conversation).
6. They touch their throats or cover their mouths
These are common signs of when they are lying. The liar protects the vulnerable site and literally blocks communication.
7. There are inconsistencies in the details or there are too many
A teen who lies may avoid details, at least when first asked, if he hasn’t practiced answering. But by telling it a second time he may change the details. Asking for more details will put more pressure on your teen and may lead to more signs of lying. On the other hand, too many unwanted details can signal a pre-planned story.
I’ll believe you, yes, but after checking
“Trust but check” This can be a good tactic if you want to make sure your teen is telling the truth and not covering up his behavior. Ask him things that you can verify.
Make it easy for your teen to tell you the truth. Assure your child that he is safe from punishment if he tells you the truth so that you can solve problems together. And don’t break your promise.