The explosive nature of many people has played a very bad trick on them, and we are not referring to suffering from stress and anxiety, but rather many people who cannot control their character have had serious legal problems and their lives have been completely changed. for reactions that could have been avoided.
Tips to be a more balanced and calm person
Below are some examples of reactions and behaviors that can be much more favorable to you, being calm and with a more balanced mind.
1. Think before you do something
Keep calm, it’s nothing, it’s a matter of everyday life. This seems very simple, but on a day-to-day basis, for many people this is practically a mockery. What are the rest of us to do when everyday situations are unsettling, an emergency at work, a boss makes rude comments, or teenage children are out of control?
The answer is quite simple. Instead of ripping and yanking when you hear another round of criticism, solve the problem without yelling. take a few minutes, put your thoughts in order and carefully weigh each word, only then respond. Relationships, social life and work will benefit from this.
2. Control your attention
A seemingly serious and unsolvable problem is not always the case. To check this, psychologist Andrei Zhelvetro recommends using the Stop exercise. If you feel like the situation is getting out of control, stop for a few seconds and say to yourself “Stop!” Consider: How you feel; what you see and hear (what colors prevail, how many people are sitting nearby, or, for example, what kind of music is playing);
Try to track what is out of your line of sight (noise, people, weather, etc.). By repeating this exercise regularly, the tendency will be to become more calm and balanced, you will also experience more pleasant emotions.
3. Learn to listen
Conflict situations, and with them unwanted irritability, often arise from misunderstandings. Not having listened to the interlocutor, we begin to be indignant and angry at his attitude to what is happening or to us personally.
To be more calm and balanced, try not just to talk. Learn to listen carefully to your interlocutor without being distracted by extraneous factors.
In this case, it is easier to find a common language, achieve mutual understanding even with a hostile topic, and be able to remain calm.
4. Speak more quietly
Loud speech is perceived by the interlocutor as an attack or a threat signal. Unconsciously, he begins to defend himself and activates the appropriate hit-and-run response.
If you want to avoid an escalation of the conflict and remain calm: speak half a tone more calmly; do not use sarcastic comments; do not interrupt the interlocutor in the middle of the sentence; you should try to be more receptive.
If the person feels that they are being heard and understood, they will have no reason to conflict and you will have no reason to be stressed and anxious.
5. Minimize stress factors
If constant anxiety gets in the way of staying calm and poised, learn to calm down. To do this, some psychologists recommend: stop watching crime reports; get a normal sleep; Relax more; change jobs, if possible, eliminate everyday causes of alarm and stress triggers.
6. Do not worry about what cannot influence you
People tend to feel anxious and nervous about things they can’t influence, and things that won’t influence them. This behavior only increases anxiety and increases stress levels.
Starting to worry about something and experiencing anxiety, try to distance yourself from the situation. Evaluate it from the outside and mentally answer the questions: Can you influence what is happening? What exactly can you influence? What can’t you get? What can happen to you?
If most things that cause anxiety are out of your control, are they worth worrying about? Of course not. The only thing that will change is your stress level in the face of it. Keep this in mind and stay calm.
7. Control your breathing
During sleep, a person breathes evenly and calmly. To stay balanced and calm, do the same during times of stress. In critical situations, a person suffers from shortness of breath. Some people stop breathing completely due to anger or outrage.
Take a deep breath as you lift your diaphragm: inhale deeply through your nose (so your stomach rises and falls with each breath); hold your breath for a couple of seconds; exhale slowly. In a few minutes, this breathing technique will help the body and brain to relax. During this time, you will be able to regain control and answer the interlocutor calmly.
8. Change your way of seeing things
There is no one-size-fits-all method to help stay calm. The easiest way to balance is to change our view of the situation.
An expert in family relations recommends looking at the world in a positive way: love yourself and others, even if it seems trite, it is a very healthy aspiration; forgive people for small shortcomings, oversights, mistakes; show patience with others; Less pressure and fewer reproaches.
Learn to stop your irritation and negative reactions. If a stressful situation is unavoidable, look at it through the eyes of an experienced grandmother. Simulate a possible course of events in your mind. Consider the appropriateness of your behavior: what will change if you get worried or angry.
The changes in our behavior and reactions, is gradual and cannot be done from one moment to another, the important thing is to learn by practicing it daily.