Falling in love is one of the best things that happen in someone’s life. Love is one of the main drivers of people. It keeps you going even in the toughest of times and can bring you an immense amount of joy. People, especially when they are young, fall hard and fast. But, as fast as you fall in love, you can fall out of love. What happens when that love moves away from you, forcing you to forget an ex? These are 7 proven ways to get over an ex in an effective way.
7 Proven Ways to Get Over an Ex
Breakups are one of the hardest things that a person will have to overcome in his life. They can make you feel like you have lost everything that mattered in your life. Sometimes they are mutual. But many times, someone is left. They have to deal with the fact that they still have feelings for someone who left.
Y worst thing about getting over an ex is that no one teaches you how to do it. You have to deal with all that pain on your own. But just because your parents didn’t teach you doesn’t mean you can’t do your research and learn a few tricks. If you can’t get over an ex and feel like you need help, here are seven proven ways to get over an ex.
If you want to get over an ex, get off social media
Today, people spend hours and hours on social networks. And they don’t just scroll through Instagram when they’re bored. As long as you are on social media, it is quite difficult to keep your distance from your ex.
One of the best things you can do when you’re going through a breakup is to disconnect from social media for a while. Because all your friends are posting there, sometimes even daily, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. You see everyone happily having fun, which can make you feel even worse about yourself. Or, the worst thing you could do is harass your ex on social media, which can be tempting.
If you keep an eye on your ex every day, you will never be able to let him go. You will constantly think about them and your feelings will not heal as they should. Toni Coleman, a psychotherapist and relationship coach, even recommends cutting them out, at least until you get over them.
Get rid of reminders
People are very sentimental and can become attached to objects that remind them of others. If you have memories of your ex after the breakup, that will only remind you of what you have lost. It will only remind you of the good parts of your relationship. These reminders trigger strong emotions and make you feel even worse about the whole situation. They can even make you obsessive.
If you want to forget everything and heal, make sure there are no memories of your ex lying around. Without these reminders, you will be able to focus on yourself and not be overwhelmed by all those uncontrollable emotions.
don’t contact them
Most people going through a breakup have a hard time accepting their new reality. It’s hard to adjust to a new normal.
Therefore, you may be tempted to contact your ex to get back some of that routine. Or you may even contact them in the hope of convincing them to take you back. But it would help if you always tried to accept the break from the beginningas it will be better for your mental health.
If you want to accept your new reality, you must not contact them, no matter how much you want to. Delete the number, delete them on social networks, avoid them at all costs. Not seeing them will allow you to let go of those feelings you still have for them.
If you try to contact them obsessively, your attention will be focused on trying to win them back. This false hope will not help you heal. Not connecting with them will force you to get used to your new reality and focus on yourself and your feelings.
Get support from friends and family
When you go through a breakup, you tend to feel lonely. Chances are your ex was the person you spent the most time with before you broke up. So after they dump you, you may feel the need to be around people. Even if you don’t feel that need and think you want to be alone, people can still help you.
Because they are not directly involved in the relationship, they are able to take a more objective perspective on the situation. Therefore, they can give you better advice than you could give yourself. Being with people at times like these is more important than you think.
Go out with friends when you need to get over an ex
As mentioned above, people going through a breakup can become isolated. To combat this loneliness and regain self-concept after a breakup, psychologists recommend dating. People in relationships tend to lose their independence and the ability to do what they want without asking for approval.
When you’re heartbroken, the idea of going to a party can seem silly. But it’s a great distraction that allows you to have fun without repercussions. And you can meet new people or hang out with old friends. Something as simple as being around people can help you feel like yourself again.
Focus on your goals
One of the main reasons breakups are hard to deal with is because they make you feel out of control. This is especially true if the breakup was one-sided (basically, you were dumped). You have to deal with this new reality that you might not even have wanted. You feel that you do not control the direction of your life and you do not know what the future holds for you.
To counteract these feelings, you need to focus on what you can control. And your goals are a great starting point. Immerse yourself in your work, your studies or your hobbies. Do what you feel like most.
The desire to achieve those goals is a huge distraction. Not only that, but ultimately achieving your goals will give you the satisfaction you need. You will feel proud of yourself and feel like you are in control again.
Ask for help to get over an ex.
If you feel that none of the above tips help you naturally, it’s probably a sign that you need professional help. The last six tips work in most cases. But sometimes, breakups can be so brutal that you need someone experienced to guide you through them. Therapy can be a safe space for you to process your emotions with the support of someone who knows what advice to give you.
Your therapist is there to listen to you and has a perfectly neutral perspective on the situation. They don’t know your ex and they’re not there to take sides. They are only there to listen and help. The best part is that you will not be forced to do anything. They will be there to guide you, but you will be the one to process the emotions.
Therapy is a great option when you are struggling with your emotions. Therefore, it is safe to say that it is just as effective for help you get over your ex.