Abusers are experts at targeting and exploiting vulnerability. An abusive relationship has certain characteristics that allow us to identify it without fear of being wrong.
The violence in relationships consists of acts and beliefs that break connection and trust. Just as the trap encapsulates the experience of victims and survivors, the law characterizes the experience of abusers.
As a society, we tolerate the excuses of abusers who perpetuate the trap for womenexcuses that include the victim’s perception of provocation.
Different forms of an abusive relationship
Abuse can take many forms, including:
- Physical: hitting, kicking, biting, hair pulling, pushing, grabbing, blocking exits, destroying property and precious objects such as family heirlooms.
- Emotional: insults, mind games, threats.
- Sexual: Includes assault and rape, as well as coercion, pressure, threats, and sexual negotiation for things in return.
- Financial: put someone in debt, close accounts without consent, give money in exchange for despicable favors.
- Negligence emotional: retain affection and attention.
Abuse is harmful on many levelss: one’s body, psyche, heart, spirit, moral core, wallet, etc.
Abuse and violence are not natural and inevitable aspects of intimate relationships. Abuse and control are embedded in the fabric of our society and in patterns of social relationships that seem natural.
This is how abuse proceeds in a relationship
The abuse is not episodic; it is modeled What exists between what we call “episodes” is what keeps the victim seduced by the pattern of violence. What exists in the middle are often apologies, gifts, quick fixes and promises, which are a means of manipulation and extortion so that the victim does not walk away.
In a abusive relationship, one person is treated as less valuable than the other and then that person’s needs, wants, and interests are also subordinated to the other. Abusive relationships involve power and control; abuse is not so much about anger or conflict tactics, but about control tactics.
The abuse consists of forcing someone to do something against their will, as well as preventing someone from doing what they want to do. Violence exerts social control, which means that even those who have never been victims of violence know that they have to fear it.
One of the main tactic of abuse is isolationwhich makes it very difficult or impossible for someone to see and talk to their friends, pursue goals like school or travel and get where they need to go, if your partner destroys, hinders or hides means that would allow you to get away from him or her, it is a clear sign that he is exercising abuse and control over you.
Other examples of isolation include do not transmit messages, intercept mail and voice mail, etc.. It is important to understand that being jealous of someone or something is a normal emotion, but acting on it by being possessive is not, especially when it is part of the constant in an abusive relationship.
An abuser often carries out the violence at his partner’s school or workplace and that reveals a lot about how he views and perceives women. This harassment often results in women losing their jobs or causing a major disruption in their pursuit of an education.
When abusive and violent men affect their partners at work, they violate their partners’ independence and restrict their movement in organizations where she might have access to power and resources. The abuse creates a web of fear in the victim and the sensation of walking on eggshells, and generates low self-esteem and ambivalence.
Faced with any of these types of manifestations and signs of an abusive relationship, it is advisable to trust a person outside the couple, who could intervene neutrally, either by reporting the facts or referring someone who can provide safe assistance, especially all for women who are terrified of their partner.