There is a common stereotype that women go “crazy” during menopause. It is our culture’s deep-rooted way of nullifying women who, in menopause, often go through the process of reclaiming their lives and feel continuous gonna.
For many women, this recovery process includes getting in touch with the anger that stems from unmet and unacknowledged needs. When a woman begins to express her angerespecially if you’ve been biting your tongue for most of your life, it can feel like it’s coming from nowhere.
What’s really happening during perimenopause (the 10 or so years before a woman has her last period) is that a woman’s brain really starts to change.
Fluctuations in the relative levels of estrogen and progesterone causing anger
This is because the hormonal changes that are typical during this time, namely fluctuations in the relative levels of estrogen and progesterone, change signals in the temporal lobe (associated with intuition) and the limbic area of the brain. That is why many women feel irritableanxious and emotionally volatile.
But while our culture has led women to believe that these emotions are simply due to raging hormones, hormonal instability is only part of the picture.
There is strong evidence that repeated episodes of stressWhether it’s because of relationships, kids, or jobs that we feel angry or powerless about, they’re actually behind a lot of the hormonal changes in the brain and body.
And stress of any kind, when prolonged, can exacerbate hormonal imbalance. This is especially true when we have unresolved or “stuck” emotions as we begin the menopausal transition.
The connection between emotions and hormones during menopause
Your thoughts, emotions, desires, and dreams are your inner guidance system. The autonomic nervous system is the system that translates your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs into the physical environment, which, over time, becomes your actual physical body.
The “language” your autonomic nervous system uses to translate your thoughts and emotions to the rest of your body is your hormones.
The main messengers of the sympathetic nervous system (the part of the nervous system that speeds up your metabolism to meet challenges) are hormones called norepinephrine and epinephrine, often referred to together as adrenaline, which are produced in the brain and adrenal glands .
Every time adrenaline levels suffer, cortisol (another adrenal hormone) also increases.
How you perceive anger affects more than what provokes it
Our state of health depends more on our perception of life events than on the events themselves.
When your perception that events and demands on your life are stressful and uncontrollableyou are adopting a mindset that continually whips your adrenal glands to produce more and more cortisol.
Over time, your adrenal glands become exhausted. Insomnia is a very common result in this situation, as is an incompetent immune system, which increases susceptibility not only to infectious diseases, but also to autoimmune disorders and cancer.
The overstimulated sympathetic nervous system also causes an imbalance in eicosanoids, resulting in poor metabolism of fatty acids by cells.
This is associated with weight gain as the body breaks down muscle and replaces it with stored fat and excess fluid. An imbalance in eicosanoids is also associated with inflammation, which is now known to be the cause of nearly all chronic degenerative diseases, including heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.
Additionally, inflammation increases the discomfort felt in a number of chronic diseases such as lupus and rheumatoid arthritis.
Overstimulation of the sympathetic nervous system also causes a decrease in the production of progesterone, your body’s natural calming agent.
How menopausal anger drives you to heal your past
Certain areas of the brain, such as the amygdala and hippocampus, are important for encoding and retrieving memories. They are also rich in receptors for estrogen, progesterone and GnRH, the hormones that fluctuate the most during perimenopause. That is why the hormonal changes of menopause make women’s anger conscious.
The heightened activity of these hormones often brings up memories of hurt and loss that women have managed to forget or minimize. And this makes menopause the perfect biologically supported opportunity to clean up unfinished business from the past filled with anger.
How this ultimately affects you largely depends on your willingness to make the changes you are urged to make.
Many women get scared when they feel that anger arises. Or they say they are “just” cranky, moody, offended, angry, overwhelmed, even depressed, or that they “just” have high cholesterol or high blood pressure.
All these emotions and conditionsphysical ions are associated with anger. And anger always arises from a genuine need that is not being met. Learning to recognize the situations from which your anger arises is the first step in understanding the messages behind your anger and ultimately healing.
Situations from which anger arises and the corresponding messages behind the anger
- Being unable to take into account the promise / commitment – Need for honesty, tranquility in the relationship.
- Losing power, status, respect. Need for respect / recognition.
- Being isolated, undermined, diminished. Need for respect / recognition.
- Being threatened with physical or emotional pain. Need for comfort, safety, intimacy, healing touch.
- Having an important pleasurable event postponed or canceled to accommodate others.
- Need for support, integrity, fun, joy, pleasure or grief.
- Not getting something that you feel rightfully should be yours. Need for fairness / recognition.
5 Practices to Solve Menopausal Anger
Practice new ways of managing anger, not simply releasing it without being aware of what leads you to express it. The following ways will help you if you put them into practice and find healthy outlets to release your anger.
Practice releasing toxic emotions
If you have lingering, unresolved emotions, like grief, the only way to heal is to release them. You can do this as they arise or even create a daily ritual where you work through the unresolved emotion and the event that caused it.
If you are unable to fully overcome and release toxic emotions on your own, seek help from a professional or support group. This can also provide validation of your emotions, which many women need.
Focus on the “silver side”
Releasing old patterns from the first half of your life may mean that your relationships change or dissolve. The good news is that many women attract their “soul tribe” in midlife.
Resist the urge to go back to your old ways
Allow yourself to continuously move towards success and joy. You will be surprised by the new friends and the circumstances that arise.
Trust your brain and your body
Tune in to your emotions and any physical symptoms. Trust that your brain and body are giving you the information you need to resolve past trauma at the exact moment you are ready to deal with it.
Resist categorizing your feelings
Emotions are neither “good” nor “bad.” When you feel angry, sad, anxious or depressed, think of these feelings as a guide, use them to guide you towards health.
forgive yourself
In order to heal your past and fully release the anger and other emotions that are attached to it, you must forgive yourself and those involved in your pain. Remember that forgiveness does not mean that what happened to you is acceptable. It simply means that you are no longer willing to allow the past to prevent you from living fully and healthily in the present.
Have you dealt with anger or other emotions during perimenopause?