Although it may seem to us that this is the best way to care for our children, over-parenting or over-protection can make them insecure and very critical of themselves.
Over-parenting is defined as paying too much attention to parenting. For some this may be an end in itself, while for others it calls our entire educational system for children into question.
What is the correct balance to avoid falling into overprotection?
How not to pay too much attention to how to raise young children? Where do you draw the line? All children need constant attention and care from their parents. But sometimes it’s important to realize what the right balance is.
The truth is that there is a fine line between over-parenting and guiding our children so that they can grow personally without falling into the trap of emotional toxicity.
Parenting isn’t just about control and training, and it doesn’t mean smothering children or, worse yet, clipping their wings. Soon the children will be adults, capable of making decisions for themselves and being responsible for their own lives. However, the term “superparenting” has even more meanings.
Over-paternity and over-protection
The strangest thing about this type of behavior or educational approach is that parents get involved in all aspects of their children’s lives: sports, school, hobbies, food, friends…
A “super dad” believes that he is the best father in the world and that he raises his children better than the rest. But in reality the emotional and personal balance of his children may be far from reflecting his happiness.
Frustration is one of the consequences of excessive parenting
Parents can have a clear idea of what the ideal child should look like, while also seeing themselves as a recipe for success or a role model.
But as time passes, they discover that their children don’t always live up to their ideals, leading to feelings of frustration. When a child sees the disappointment in her parents’ eyes, she may begin to experience a sense of failure and inferiority.
Other Consequences of Excessive Parenting: Worry and Anxiety
One aspect to consider is that over-paternity goes hand in hand with «educational overactivity». It is not unusual for parents to plan many extracurricular activities for their children, even activities in which the children themselves have no interest.
Gradually, children become anxious, and their anxiety reaches levels similar to that of adults. Overprotective parents find it difficult to tolerate their children’s mistakes. They do everything possible to raise responsible children who are immune to mistakes or failures, something impossible.
Overprotection and the inability to fail
All children should have the experience of failing at something so that they can learn from their mistakes. Children raised by demanding parents become their own judges. Parents set the bar so high that when children realize they won’t be able to reach it, they sink into depression and self-destructive behavior.
Parenting Through Healthy Attachment to Foster Responsibility
According to a study conducted in the Queen’s University In Ontario, Canada, one of the most serious consequences of over-parenting is that children between the ages of 7 and 12 hardly know what it means to play outside or interact with their friends, in short: they are unhappy children.
You already know that raising a child implies protecting him above all else, but this protection must be based on the following points:
Protect them so they feel safe, not “enslaved.”
Healthy attachment parenting means acknowledging our child and fostering his or her good self-image. A child who feels safe and recognized by her parents will have better self-esteem and will not be afraid to grow up and mature responsibly.
Protect your children by giving them advice, but letting them learn from their mistakes
Protect your children so they don’t suffer and stay on the right path, but always reinforce their personal point of view and let them make their mistakes so they can learn from them.
Attachment and a strong bond are invaluable, especially during the first years of a child’s life. But when children turn 7 or 8 years old, they take a big leap towards maturity. It is then that they begin to stand up for their rights and develop a sense of justice and morality. During this chaotic preteen stage, they will begin to make decisions that may surprise you.
Always listen to them and teach them every day that to be free they must be responsible and that to enjoy certain privileges they must fulfill certain obligations.
It is necessary to promote a type of learning based on experience, not on over-parenting.