These are the common mistakes parents of anxious children make

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These are the common mistakes parents of anxious children make

A happy-go-lucky boy who, having matured, becomes an anxious and restless teenager, will avoid what he once adored. Getting him to go to school can be a miracle. A child psychologist warns of the typical mistakes made by the parents of these children who suffer from anxiety.

How can parents help? First, it is important to understand what a parent of anxious children should not do.

5 common mistakes made by parents of anxious children

Anxiety in adolescents manifests itself in the same way, but the reaction of the parents differs, depending on the parenting style adopted in the family. Here are 5 common parenting mistakes.

1. They are overprotected

The parents feel sorry for the child, they want to relieve his anxiety. They are trying to do everything possible for this.

  • Children stop going to school and move to remote learning.
  • Children are afraid to sleep alone. Their parents allowed them to sleep with them all the time.
  • Children are afraid to try new things. Parents do not encourage them to go out of their comfort zone.

Assistance to the child must be balanced. Don’t pressure him, but encourage him to try to overcome her fears and support him in this. Help your child find ways to cope with anxiety attacks, encourage him in his fight in every way possible.

2. They force you to deal with the thing that gives you anxiety too soon

This error is the exact opposite of the previous one. Some parents try too aggressively to deal with teen anxiety. It is hard for them to see their son suffer, and they try to bring him face to face with his fear. Their intentions are the best, but they implement them incorrectly.

Such parents do not understand what anxiety is. They believe that if you force children to face fear, it will pass immediately. Forcing a teen to do something they aren’t ready for can only exacerbate the problem. The problem requires a balanced approach.

Giving in to fears won’t help a teen, but too much pressure can also have an undesirable result.

Teach your teenager to overcome small difficulties. Big results come from small victories.

3. They pressure the teen and try to solve their problems for them

Some parents understand what anxiety is. They understand so well that they try to solve the problem themselves for their children. They read books on psychotherapy and psychology. They try to take their son by the hand all the way through the fight.

It is unpleasant to see that the child does not solve his problems as quickly as one wants. It’s a shame when you understand what skills and abilities a child needs, but he does not use them.

You can’t “fight” for your child

If you’re trying to fight harder than the teen himself, there are two problems. First, the child begins to hide the anxiety when he should do the opposite. Second, he feels an unbearable burden on himself. Some kids just give up as a result.

A teenager must solve his own problems. You can only help them, not supplant them.

4. They feel that the adolescent manipulates them

I have met many parents who were convinced that their children use anxiety as an excuse to get away with it. They say things like “He’s too lazy to go to school” or “She’s not afraid to sleep alone, she just likes to sleep with us.”

Most teens are ashamed of their anxiety and will do anything to get rid of the problem.

If you feel that adolescent anxiety is a form of manipulation, you will react with irritation and punishment, which will exacerbate their fears.

5. They don’t understand anxiety

I often hear parents say, “I don’t understand why she’s afraid of this. She has never had anything bad happen to her.” Parents are tormented by doubts: “Maybe he is being bullied at school?”, “Maybe she is going through psychological trauma that we don’t know about?”. Usually none of this happens.

The predisposition to anxiety is largely determined by genes and is inherited. Such children are prone to anxiety from birth. This does not mean that they cannot learn to deal with the problem and overcome it.

It simply means that you should not endlessly search for the answer to the question “Why?”. Teen anxiety is often irrational and unrelated to any event.

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