Toxic load | How to stop regretting the past

538 points
Toxic load How to stop regretting the past

If memories torment you and do not allow you to live in peace, then the time has come to get rid of this toxic load: let’s learn from the past, let’s forgive our mistakes to release this toxic load, and let’s not create it a theory, let’s put it into practice today .

learn from the past

When you feel that you have made a mistake in the past, you will need to find some benefit in the situation so that it is not so offensive. Ask yourself what lesson can be learned from what happened. Analyze the answers, draw conclusions and to consolidate the results write them down in a notebook. This will help not only ease the torment, but also prevent the mistake from happening again in the future.

Learn to forgive yourself and others

You can endlessly blame yourself for a wrong act or a missed opportunity. Therefore, it is important to know how to forgive other people and oneself. Do not be cruel to yourself: everyone can make mistakes, including you, and this is normal, because only those who do nothing do not make mistakes. Life is not a computer game where you can restart and start from a saved moment.

work on the mistakes

There are fatal mistakes in life that cannot be corrected. However, this is a rare thing: relationships can be improved with the help of apologies and good deeds, and a mistake at work can simply be made up for with better work accomplished the next few times.

Keep this in mind when you reprimand yourself for misbehaving and in order to relieve yourself of that toxic burden that makes you sick. Spend the energy of reflection on correcting the error: think about the best way to do it and get down to work.

Remember why you did it this way

Some time after making a mistake, it seems that the logical thing would be to do the opposite, so we ruthlessly reproach ourselves for our mistakes. We forget that in the past we acted based on the circumstances in which we found ourselves, and of all the possible options, we probably chose the most logical solution. Remember this when you blame yourself: remember why you did that and, most likely, you will see that you made the decision that you could at that moment.

Don’t exaggerate your guilt

Many people consider themselves the center of the world and their own mistakes seem catastrophic. However, most of the time, it’s actually not that scary. Try to see your mistake with an open mind: Have you been going downhill all your life because of a mistake and it can’t be fixed? Or has it had dire consequences for other people? This is unlikely to be true, which means you shouldn’t spend a lot of time regretting it.

look at you from outside

We tend not only to sympathize with loved ones and friends, but also to be very forgiving of others. It would be worth treating yourself the same way to relieve the toxic load of guilt and resentment.

Look at yourself with the eyes of a good friend, say words of comfort and you will see that the mistake has been made. inflated to the scale of a catastrophe only in your head, and to anyone else it will not seem so comprehensive. This will ease the guilt inside and help you take a serious look at the situation.

Remember that everything is possible in the future

When it seems that the world has collapsed due to an uncorrectable mistake, think that there is still time ahead. Surely you can fix a lot of things in your life, because we rarely find ourselves in desperate situations. This will require effort and work, but it is better to spend it on future achievements than on blaming yourself. The main thing is to learn to look forward realistically, and not through the prism of already missed opportunities or wrong decisions.

radical acceptance

If no method has helped you deal with the pain of dwelling on past mistakes and letting go of that toxic load, try radical acceptance. Sometimes no tricks of the mind can help explain your past behavior.

Then there is only one step left: accept and love your life as a whole, with all its victories and failures.

Accepting that these mistakes are also part of our lives, and are not something extra that has stained us, will help us to embrace our entire existence in a broad way, with the good and the bad that we can be.

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538 points