When people look for a partner, they seek to grow in love, at least that is what a healthy love should be, and a true search to transcend in a relationship, but many times what begins as something wonderful, due to some fog strange, due to people’s lives and circumstances, it can turn into an unhealthy relationship, a toxic and codependent relationship.
We all long to find a true and transcendental love that lasts over time. It is this state that we do not know very well how to define, but what we do know is that it is one of the most amazing things that could happen to us.
Going from love to codependency
Unfortunately, there is a blurry line where love can go from being something beautiful to something extremely unhealthy and toxic. Love should not be drenched in stress. Emotions are not fought, nor are they repressed. Being together with a loving partner and in a healthy relationship does not send stress signals to our brain and does not fill us with anxiety, a true relationship makes us feel support and growth.
Love does not consume us, it does not “eat” us from the inside. It’s not supposed to be debilitating, it doesn’t make us want to avoid facing the truth, because love is the truth itself. The true love of companionship does not “suck” us, nor does it deprive us of the other relationships in our life. He does not allow us to neglect other important people in our lives.
True love is beautiful, it is not arrogant. It contains a unique association, it is not a chain wrapped around our leg.
love is not an addiction
When love, what we thought was love, has become something that drains us and we feel it as an addiction, this is already codependency. This is what prevents us from breathing without having the other by our side. This brings a black cloud over our heads every time we get separated from the other person.
When you need someone to breathe or just feel happy in life, it’s not love. It’s fear, insecurity, codependency. Nothing to do with love.
Sometimes you may not even realize that you are in a codependent relationship. You might think it’s normal to love someone so much, to need them with you 24/7. You may assume that it is normal to love someone so much that when you fight you want to die. You may think it’s normal to love someone so much that you don’t remember what life was like without them.
But you had a life without that person, and you must have a life beyond that person. Love is supposed to have magic. That lifts us up to heaven and makes us feel grateful for the little things we have in life. It’s supposed to make us better people, better friends, better people in general.
Love is not codependency, nor the opposite. It doesn’t take away our energy. On the contrary, it gives us energy. It doesn’t hurt our hearts. Codependency yes.