Why children should not be taught to suppress their feelings

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Why children should not be taught to suppress their feelings

It was very common in previous decades that men repress their feelings. Boys who expressed their emotions were often seen as weak and vulnerable. They were often unfairly mocked by others, so they suppressed their emotions.

Naturally, the men learned to hold back and never cry or show any emotion. Society now recognizes that it is healthy for men to show their emotional side. It makes them better children, parents, lovers and good people in general.

When you bottle emotions deep inside, it’s like a ticking time bomb. This emotional bomb will explode when you least expect it. A study conducted at the University of Berkeley found that men who show their feelings have emotional diversity.

When children learn to show both positive and negative emotions effectively, they have lower rates of depression and anxiety. keep things deep inside it is not suitable for anyone’s mental health.

10 benefits of teaching children not to repress feelings

The time to teach your children to don’t suppress your feelings It’s from the cradle. You want to make sure they know they are free to express their emotions early on, as it directly affects their life.

While the lower rates of depression and anxiety are great, there are other benefits to teach children not to suppress their feelings. Here are some other good things that can come when a young person learns emotional diversity.

They have better relationships if they don’t repress emotions

Relationships require people to be vulnerable and talk about things that are bothering them. When a person doesn’t talk about problems, it’s like a festering wound that only gets worse. However, if a child learns to deal with the problem and bring it all out into the open, she learns to communicate effectively.

When they want a partner to spend their lives with, they want someone who is open and honest. Your feelings are just as important as your partner’s, so you should be free to discuss things and not keep them to yourself.

Your dreams intensify

Imagine how horrible it would be to constantly contemplate your problems. You didn’t feel free to cry, express your anger, or talk about the things that bothered you. It is difficult to plan for the future, to dream and to be present in the moment. When emotional diversity is allowed, the black cloud of sadness that prevents a child from seeing beyond the here and now is lifted.

Your confidence and courage improve when you don’t hold back your feelings

When emotions are out of control, children lack self-confidence. For example, if you were in a bad relationship where someone cheated on you, that puts in your mind the fear of dating someone else. However, when children learn to talk about these situations and bring things out into the open, they are no longer held back by past pain.

It doesn’t mean that the pain goes away automatically, but they find comfort in talking about it. They may find someone who has had a similar experience and values ​​monogamy as much as they do, but they’ll never know unless they have the confidence and courage to open up.

They have a better social life when they don’t hold back their feelings.

People don’t feel like going out with a group and having fun when they’re emotionally shattered. Keep them repressed feelings inside it makes anyone miserable. An emotionally upset person will have difficulty going to work, dating, or having social interaction.

However, when children learn at an early age not to bottle up their feelings and to get things out and process them, they free themselves from the ties that bind them. They will want to go out and have fun when they are not tied to the past and have regrets.

smile more

Your face tells a story for all the world to see. You can usually tell if you’re sad by looking at your expression. Very few people have a true “poker face” where they can fool the world.

Children will smile more when they don’t suppress feelings that hurt them It is impossible to be miserable on the inside and happy on the outside, since the innermost feelings will always shine through.

They have better communication

Have you ever dealt with a person where you have to ask a hundred times what’s wrong, and they still don’t give you anything? This is a typical case of someone being repressed. They know they feel horrible, but they don’t know how or what to tell you.

Children who learn to suppress their feelings and hope they will go away will have communication problems. The problem with “sweeping the dirt under the rug” is that there comes a day when the dirt pile is evident. Communicating your concerns and getting things out in the open will set you free.

Instead of adding more dirt to the pile, they learn to clean up the mess as it happens. Teach your kids that it’s okay to talk about their feelings and what’s bothering them, and it feels much better than holding them back.

Children who do not repress emotions have better health

Stress and excess baggage can have a direct impact on your heart. According to National Library of Medicine, the effect on blood pressure is multiplied when the body is under stress. You can’t suppress life’s hurts and disappointments and not expect to be the picture of health.

You’ve often heard that stress kills, and your heart doesn’t need you to put more stress or strain on it. You probably think that this does not apply to children, but according to the American Heart Associationchildren are not immune.

Although it is rare for a child to have heart problems due to stress, it does happen. However, arming them with the right tools from infancy to manage their stress effectively will impact them throughout life.

They become a more positive person

When you repress things, you dwell in negativity. Your mind is stuck in a loop of everything that hurt you or went wrong in your life. Nobody wants a dark cloud of sadness hanging over their head, so teach your children to be optimistic.

Dealing with a problem as it happens will allow your child to embrace positivity. You can’t be a happy person and carry tons of baggage. This doesn’t mean that they will always resolve everything instantly, but they can at least work on a resolution.

Children who don’t suppress their emotions don’t play the blame game.

Imagine that your child has a cup inside him that contains all of his uncomfortable emotions. When he gets angry, sad, scared or anxious, the cup fills a little with each emotion or feeling.

Eventually, your cup will be so full that it will spill everywhere, which is often called an emotional outburst. Once it starts to spill, they can’t control it. It usually comes out in the form of blaming others.

It’s not practical to criticize others for mishandled situations, as your child has suppressed these feelings. However, breaking free from repression gives freedom and stops the blame game.

They are free to forgive and be forgiven

It’s horrible to hold a grudge. In many cases, people get angry and refuse to talk for years, eventually not remembering why they were angry in the first place. When children learn from a young age that it is acceptable to hold back feelings, they will be unwilling to forgive others.

How can someone be expected to forgive when they are not willing to forgive? Learning to deal with emotions as they occur allows people to be free to forgive and be forgiven.

Never punish your child for their feelings

Why do parents expect things from their children that they don’t do themselves? Many adults want their children to be “seen and not heard” and think that they will never have a bad day. You must be realistic and understand that your children will experience the same emotions as you.

There are days when you’re in a bad mood because you didn’t get enough sleep and you say and do things you didn’t mean to say. Your children will also have these moments and they should not be punished for expressing their emotions. Instead, it would be helpful if you talked to them about effective ways to handle these times. As a result, you will arm them with the knowledge of how to deal with their emotions in a positive way.

By punishing a child for a tantrum or other emotional problem, you are saying loud and clear that expressing his feelings gets him into trouble. Correct bad behavior, like kicking, hitting, painting the wall or the like, but never punish him for being human and showing emotion.

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